Starting Your Marriage Before the Big Day — Advice from a Wedding Photographer
January as an Invitation
January, to me, has always felt like an invitation. It’s the beginning of the new calendar year which makes me want to reflect on the year before and dream about what I envision for the year ahead. What do I actually want this next season of life to feel like?
It comes with a lot of others questions though too —Tiktok trends, social expectations, diets to follow, new gym routines, and the list goes on. This year though, as I was planning out what I wanted to share, I thought about my couples… those of you planning your wedding. And gosh, that question of “What do I want this season to feel like” can get so easily buried underneath everything else that comes at us in life — but it’s one of the most important ones to ask.
At this point, you’ve probably already made a lot of the big decisions. You have your venue, booked your major vendors, sent our invitations, and decided who you want to be standing beside you. But have you taken a moment to pause? To really breathe? And remember what you’re planning for?
This isn’t just another event. It’s the beginning of your next season of life. This is your wedding day!
Quieting the Noise
I recently listened to this podcast with James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, and one of his ideas really stuck with me. He shared that we don’t rise to the level of our goals — we fall to the level of our systems.
I kept thinking about how true that feels even when it comes to wedding planning.
You probably have the dream of a beautifully, intentional wedding day, but sometimes the planning process itself becomes so overwhelming with noise from others that you start to compare, listen to the constant opinions, turn to social media for what’s trending, and forget your end “goal”!
If an intentional wedding day is the hope, it’s worth asking how your planning process is supporting that. It’s hard to feel grounded on the day of if the months leading up to it feel rushed, overwhelming, or full of other people’s ideas instead of your own.
When you start to take a step back and start moving through the planning process itself with intention — it allows you to quiet the noise of everything around you and start asking a different set of questions:
- How do you want your wedding day to feel?
- What moments really matter most to you?
- What do you want to remember when the day is over?
When you begin with intention, your decisions become simpler, and your goal feels a little clearer. You stop planning for your guests, or what will look best, and you start really planning for yourselves, your story, and ultimately for the life you’re stepping into together.
Beginning Your Marriage Now
I remember telling Sergio, during our own wedding planning process, that if we started to get stressed that we would sit on the ground, hold each other’s hands, and remember all the exciting pieces of our wedding to come. It sounds dramatic, but it was a way to ground us and get us connected again in the midst of invoices, timelines, and to do lists…and being a Covid couple we needed a reset more than once!
While being a wedding photographer though, I have a unique part in your day. I get to capture the feeling for you to remember for years to come. And I will say, that the most intentional weddings I’ve captured wasn’t because of the florals or the place cards… it was because nothing felt rushed or performative. The whole day stayed true to the couple and their energy.
They weren’t trying to do or be everything. They created their day to feel like them!
- They built space into their timelines so that they could be with each other and their guests.
- They allowed emotion to unfold naturally when it came up.
- They chose select details that felt meaningful to them and telling of their story.
- They trusted in the team around them to carry out the day.
In many ways, you could say that they were already practicing marriage — listening, prioritizing, and honoring one another through every step of the planning process, long before the wedding day even arrived.
A Gentle January Practice
If you’re planning your wedding this year, and are wanting to connect more with your partner in that process, here’s a simple practice for this month:
Set aside an hour together and try to put away all other distractions. No phones, no Pinterest, no Instagram, and no outside opinions.
Grab a glass of wine or a cup of coffee. Sit down together. Then ask each other:
- What do we want to remember most about our wedding day?
- What feels non-negotiable?
- Where do we want to create space instead of filling every moment?
Write your answers down and then let these bigger ideas help guide every decision that comes after. Taking time to align with one another during this planning season, will allow your wedding to be more intentional in itself!
If you feel aligned with this and are wanting something even more tangible to walk through together, I created a An Intentional Start : A Reflection Guide for Engaged Couples to help you and your partner connect, stay grounded, and become more intentional in planning what your big day is truly all about!
A Note on My Approach
My approach to wedding photography looks very similar to this process. It’s a little slower paced, intentional crafted, and deeply present in every moment. I believe that the most meaningful (and honestly, beautiful) images come from building trust, allowing for space, and giving us time — then you are supported enough to just be and enjoy each other. I can’t wait to celebrate you soon!!
With love,
Brianna
P.S. If you are still looking for a photographer, I am still taking on a few more weddings for 2026 and books are already open for 2027… sooo I would love to hear from you! Click the link to fill out my inquire form and I look forward to getting to know you soon!
comments +